That's the straight truth! What's a shame is my mother doesn't think she's done anything wrong. As a result no apologies have come my way. She tells everyone around her that she's sorry for not being a good mother but has yet to call me and apologize.
For the last 4 years, when I got myself stable (surroundings only - working on mental wellness), I have spent my turn admitting my wrongs to my daughter, apologizing to every chance I get. I hurt her greatly by not being in her life. I wish I could turn back time and change things but I cannot.
Besides the fact that I've hurt my daughter, my mother has spared no expense to get my daughter to believe in her lies about me. The biggest lie? My mother told my daughter that I showed up at her house 7 months pregnant, saying that I wanted to get an abortion. First of all, I showed up at my mother's house when I was 4 MONTHS pregnant, AND NOT 7 months pregnant. I told her that I was going to have the baby and that I needed help.
But because of the lies by my mother (the skillful liar and narcissistic manipulator) told my daughter, my daughter refuses to believe the some (not all) truths I've been telling her. And for that, I'm truly deeply hurt by what my mother has done.
With working on my healing, I have come to learn that sooner or later the narcissist's lies do get found out. I only wish that they were found out sooner as opposed to later. And in the meantime, everything I've accomplished to heal the relationship with my daughter, my mother is in the background, tearing it all apart.
My saving grace right now as far as support, is my husband. We've been through the think and thin together. Some good times (when we weren't in our addictions) and some really bad times (when we were neck deep in addictions). But you know, people can change their ways. We have and still are changing into some really great people. My husband is the loving and caring man I married, the man who is being my rock while I work on my healing. Had it not been for him to support me, I shudder to think what might have and could have happen to me. None of which is not pretty.
So if speaking the truth makes people mad at me? So be it. I will no longer lie about the horrors of my past to keep a positive image on the abusers that hurt me.
For the last 4 years, when I got myself stable (surroundings only - working on mental wellness), I have spent my turn admitting my wrongs to my daughter, apologizing to every chance I get. I hurt her greatly by not being in her life. I wish I could turn back time and change things but I cannot.
Besides the fact that I've hurt my daughter, my mother has spared no expense to get my daughter to believe in her lies about me. The biggest lie? My mother told my daughter that I showed up at her house 7 months pregnant, saying that I wanted to get an abortion. First of all, I showed up at my mother's house when I was 4 MONTHS pregnant, AND NOT 7 months pregnant. I told her that I was going to have the baby and that I needed help.
But because of the lies by my mother (the skillful liar and narcissistic manipulator) told my daughter, my daughter refuses to believe the some (not all) truths I've been telling her. And for that, I'm truly deeply hurt by what my mother has done.
With working on my healing, I have come to learn that sooner or later the narcissist's lies do get found out. I only wish that they were found out sooner as opposed to later. And in the meantime, everything I've accomplished to heal the relationship with my daughter, my mother is in the background, tearing it all apart.
My saving grace right now as far as support, is my husband. We've been through the think and thin together. Some good times (when we weren't in our addictions) and some really bad times (when we were neck deep in addictions). But you know, people can change their ways. We have and still are changing into some really great people. My husband is the loving and caring man I married, the man who is being my rock while I work on my healing. Had it not been for him to support me, I shudder to think what might have and could have happen to me. None of which is not pretty.
So if speaking the truth makes people mad at me? So be it. I will no longer lie about the horrors of my past to keep a positive image on the abusers that hurt me.